


throughoutness

by minshuas



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Book Jumper AU, Comas - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 13:07:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13482120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minshuas/pseuds/minshuas
Summary: Every single book is an entire universe to be explored. So it's no wonder Jeon Wonwoo falls in love with a minor character.





	throughoutness

**Author's Note:**

> GOSH... idk how i finished this. u get a special prize if you recognize the 4? books i used in this. 
> 
> prompt 094 was the one i had: wonwoo is a book jumper aka he can jump into a book and interact/live in the story inside it!! He fell in love however with Soonyoung who is (a book character, claimer can choose whichever character!!)
> 
> so like... what about this, alright

either way,  
we are stardust.

☆ 

The first time Jeon Wonwoo meets Kwon Soonyoung is in the summertime, 1922.

They are  merely  side characters: onlookers to a much bigger story.

 

“What brings _you_ here?” The blond tries to make his voice carry over the music of the live band. _Tries,_ but only succeeds when his lips are brushing against the shell of Wonwoo’s ear. Unconsciously, Wonwoo shivers. Sometimes, like right now, he feels starved of human contact. If his life was uncomplicated, then he wouldn’t be so hungry for some type of affection. If his life was easier, then he’d have an answer to this stranger’s question.

Wonwoo’s whole existence is impossibly complicated. There’s no one else, that he knows of, who lives the same life as he does. His life is a compilation of lives. At any given time, he could be a struggling, poor farmer trying to salvage his dying crops; a student with excellent grades who tutors others; a widower trying to find a new hope in a colorless, empty world; a partygoer from South Korea who hopes to find new hope in America. The special thing about it is that he’s always Jeon Wonwoo, even though he could be Sherlock Holmes or Gandalf or Molly Bloom at the same time. He retains himself within all of his lives and it influences how he lives in them..

No one reads about his adventures though. That’s the biggest difference between him and the fictional characters. The lives that he leads are experienced by solely him. He’ll come across characters that he may love, but he never can meet them again. If he did, then they wouldn’t remember him. There’s also no telling whether he could live as the same person in the same life endlessly. If he dipped into the world of _A Study in Scarlet_ , then there’s no telling that he’d be Sherlock Holmes again. Maybe he would be Mrs. Hudson or John Rance or even just a passerby.

 _What brings him here?_ The honest answer is an answer that a mere storybook character could not understand. Even if they could, they would forget about it eventually. Maybe Wonwoo’s childhood books never forgot about him, but he had visited them daily. It had been a constant in his life. Now? Now he traveled to various worlds all in the same day sometimes. To Wonwoo, no limit existed for how he lived because no one else lived their life as he did his. So what brought him here isn’t what Kwon Soonyoung wants to know. Instead, he’s asking about specifics; he’s asking about this world.

A laugh escapes him. It almost sounds nervous, influenced by the glasses of champagne he’s sipped at pompously throughout the night. “Fate.” The glass of champagne in his hand is replaced, like clockwork, every thirty minutes, whether he notices or not. Magic exists in this storyline, even if no one else can see it. Soonyoung looks interested by Wonwoo’s answer, but the friends he’s brought over with him seem to grow bored at their exchange. Apparently, they aren’t philosophical lads. _Is Soonyoung?_ Wonwoo finds himself curious, but without any right to be. Soonyoung’s smile doesn’t look like anything any writer could manufacture. “How about you?”

“Free drinks,” He snorts.”Plus good music. I’m a sucker for good music.” _Free drinks_ , he says, but he doesn’t look a year older than nineteen with his soft, round cheeks and bright-eyed smile. The laws in 1922 are different, but Wonwoo isn’t familiar with the specifics of them. For all he knows, there is no drinking age limit here and now. And there’s no way for Soonyoung to know about the real laws of the world, so it hardly even matters. “Do you wanna dance?” Soonyoung asks and mischief pulls at his lips. The soft boy turns complicated, gains a dimension. Out of all the characters Wonwoo has ever met, Soonyoung takes the cake. With a single conversation, Wonwoo is enthralled. He wants to know more.

Wonwoo can’t even begin to understand him, but he’s come to realize that the side characters are always much more unpredictable than the main ones. Just usually, they are loads more boring. Soonyoung isn’t anything like the other side characters he’s held conversations with. He’s not just one goal or emotion. No, instead, Soonyoung seems as real as Jay Gatsby, as real as Jeon Wonwoo, as real as Daisy or Nick or Tom.“I can’t.” Wonwoo shakes his head, caught off guard by the sudden invitation. Soonyoung’s eyes sparkle with a type of hope that should be impossible for a character that the pen hasn’t touched.

“Dance, I mean. I don’t know how to dance.” He clarifies for Soonyoung because he can’t bear to deny him. He’s never thought much about dancing, but now he’d love to know how to. Even just a simple waltz. _Is a waltz very simple?_ Wonwoo has no idea, but everyone probably knows how to waltz and he doesn’t because he lives life through pages instead of surrounded by others. Before meeting Soonyoung, he had fit perfectly inside this story, but now he’s unsure of the part he’s supposed to play. Fiction usually allows for bravery that Wonwoo would lack in the real world. Love at first sight is fiction: fiction that Wonwoo laps up because he’s so inept in his personal life. In other worlds, leading other lives, he had fallen in love with so many characters. Some of that love had felt like forever, but he knew that it would never last. Eventually, he leaves. He is always the one to leave.

Because he’s the only one who isn’t permanent.

Could he throw himself into love? Would love accept him in this storyline if he isn’t the main character? Jay Gatsby himself cannot attain love, so why would Wonwoo be allowed to try? This world may be magical, but it is also tragic. Wonwoo knows not to mess with the mysticism of a fictional world because it could follow him around for years afterwards. Where there is sorrow, Wonwoo will find sorrow; where there is happiness, he will attain it. This is a place where true love comes to die. Without reaching the ending, he knows that.

Even so, maybe here, Wonwoo could dance. At the very least, he’s not trying to ruin the good mood of the party by sitting on the sidelines. A Gatsby party is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that only Wonwoo will get to experience. None of his family will ever understand how the parties hypnotize their guests into thinking that they are at the highest peak of the world and there is no coming down. None of his friends will be able to spin around the endless patio of Gatsby’s yard and feel how the tectonic plates shift beneath their feet. This is a place where everything and nothing is impossible and possible all at the same time. Wonwoo, himself, feels like a contradiction. Here, he feels impossible.

So, he takes Soonyoung’s hand. For tonight, they can dance, even if Wonwoo’s feet feel the magnetic pull of the core of the Earth. Just for tonight, Wonwoo can pull away from gravity to give a piece of himself to Soonyoung. If any character in any book ever deserved a piece of him, it is Kwon Soonyoung, immigrant from South Korea with no money to his name and only a couple changes of clothing in his bag. He looks like a train conductor almost, in a hat that’s too small for his head and black overalls. The sight of him shouldn’t be so endearing, but it is. Or, at least, Wonwoo thinks it is. He could slip away with Soonyoung for eternities because he lacks flaws. He’s mysterious and confusing and exactly what Wonwoo wishes he was: an adventurer. Wonwoo is absolutely captivated by him.

It’s those eyes. He thinks they might haunt him throughout his lifetimes, especially if he denies Soonyoung. _How can a character that’s been thrown away by the author be so captivating?_ Never before has Wonwoo met a character that is quite like Soonyoung, and he wagers that there will never be another. Kwon Soonyoung is the only one for him, but he’s the only thing that’s not permanent in this story.

They begin swaying to the beat of the giant drums and screech of the trumpets... Or Soonyoung tries to keep Wonwoo steady underneath his touch, but Wonwoo could swear he feels tectonic plates moving _inside_ of him wherever Soonyoung’s calloused fingers meet his skin. “You _can’t_ dance,” he tips his head back and laughs. Wonwoo has to strain to hear him because of how loud everything else around them is. There’s so much privacy here, at a party of this magnitude. At family gatherings, of which Wonwoo believes are largely populated, he is still scrutinized. But here? Wonwoo can only feel Soonyoung’s gaze sinking into him. It’s part of the magic this world contains and uses. This world seems to feed off its inhabitants. Wonwoo can feel it feeding off of him.

He doesn’t think he minds very much. For once, he’d like to be used.

“I told you!” He swats at Soonyoung’s chest half-heartedly. “You can’t insult me when I _warned_ you.” Soonyoung’s insult bounces off of him. There’s no real heat behind it, so he knows that he’s merely trying to see if he can get a rise out of him. It’s odd. The way that Soonyoung already seems to have foreknowledge of Wonwoo. It’s almost like he’s reading him straight out of the book, but he knows there is no mention of him in there. No South Korean immigrant looking for opportunity and hope in America. Jeon Wonwoo belongs to the change of 2017 to 2018, not to 1922 or 1864 or even 1497. These are times he can find himself in, but he _belongs_ to the present tense. His life just happens to be so complicated that 1922 can be his present tense, for a night. Even if he’d like it to be closer to forever.

“I _can_ insult you when you dance this bad!” Soonyoung is still laughing as though this exchange breathes happiness into him. There doesn’t seem to be a care in the world that could touch him right now. “You should have said ‘I’m absolutely _abysmal_ at dancing, please spare me, Dance God Soonyoung,’ then I would have left you alone… Probably.” Another laugh escapes him. Wonwoo wishes that he could just hold an ounce of that happiness to experience what it is like to be carefree, to feel what genuine happiness is like.

There’s a playfulness about him that Wonwoo likes. He’s a personality that can’t be fully captured. Wonwoo wonders how there is someone like Soonyoung stuck here, in 1922. The present is where Soonyoung belongs too, probably more than Wonwoo does. “Probably?” Wonwoo lifts an eyebrow. “That’s all you got?” There’s something satisfying about talking to Soonyoung. At the end of these pages, Wonwoo won’t be able to talk to Soonyoung again because he’ll only be imprinted in his mind. All Soonyoung will be is words, a memory of someone who never existed but in these pages. Wonwoo won’t ever read about him again, even if he’s tempted beyond belief.

That’s why he chooses to fall in love with Soonyoung. A world of fiction allows him to risk his sensibilities. Everything in his life is temporary. Good friends come and go. His family changes with each world he visits. Kwon Soonyoung is a love that he wants to chase, even if he’ll never be able to again. With only ninety-two pages left, Wonwoo only has half the story remaining  before he will have to depart from Soonyoung’s company forever.

The air isn’t cold, but Soonyoung’s cheeks are rosy. The color is mesmerizingly vivid. He seems so much realer than anything else here. The music seems to fade to make room for him in the forefront of Wonwoo’s mind. “Who would resist approaching someone as handsome as _you_?” He flutters his eyelashes cheekily. Wonwoo has to resist the urge to pinch him for being so infuriatingly courageous in his advances. For some reason, it only draws Wonwoo further in. He’s intoxicating, like the champagne, and ostentatious, like this entire party. Soonyoung has the same exact effect of a Gatsby party. It is almost like he controls the magic of this world. Wonwoo should be jealous of that, but he’s not. Instead, he’s absolutely enraptured by it.

“Are you flirting with me?” The question is loaded with expectation. Wonwoo doesn’t just want an answer, he _needs_ one. It doesn’t come out as suave as he’d like it to be. Instead, he sounds like he’s on the border of desperation. It makes him feel smaller than he is. Soonyoung might not even notice, but Wonwoo is embarrassed by himself. Once again, his personality is the one that comes out on top. He’s not fictional, and he can’t manufacture himself into a lie either. The truth behind the man is that he’s terribly awkward, gentle, and anxious. Soonyoung turns him into a downpour of his worst traits. It shouldn’t even matter to him because all of this will dissipate into only memory soon enough.

All Soonyoung is is an existence embedded within written words. He is a part of this story, chained to it. No part of Wonwoo can ever truly have Soonyoung. Fiction will remain as fiction, so if he lets himself dream, then he will only be a dreamer. This will only keep Wonwoo tethered to a fictional world he doesn’t belong within. He’s never tried to stay in a world past his allotted time. Would the world kick him out? Would he be trapped forever? Staying might ruin the point of letting himself fall into spontaneous love, but he thinks that the more time he has with Soonyoung, the happier he’ll be. Fictional worlds are supposed to allow a person into a realm of dreaming. As long as he makes sure that he understands his own limits, he can dip into the fantasy of this world for just a moment.

If Gatsby cannot attain his love, then maybe Wonwoo can transform this tragedy into a romance.

“Do you want me to be flirting with you?” Soonyoung teases, leaning in close. Too close. Their noses brush and Wonwoo feels like he’s aflame all of a sudden. _Yes_ , the answer is so simple. Why can’t Soonyoung see that? He teases Wonwoo with proximity, then pulls away until he’s only fingertips brushing against Wonwoo’s waist. A wild thought rushes through Wonwoo’s mind. It is irrational, but it may very well be true. Soonyoung could disappear into the crowd and end up anywhere within the reaches of this world. Wonwoo had never scoured an entire world from end to end, but he might have to if Soonyoung disappears without saying goodbye.

For Wonwoo, goodbyes release the magic that holds him to the worlds that he visits. Unless the world itself is poisoned, Wonwoo needs to be bid farewell before he wakes up to the nightmarish reality that is his unstructured life. Jobless Wonwoo can turn into an immigrant searching for work in the 1920s here, but back at home, he still is boring and poor and struggling. Reading and writing is all that he has. It hardly pays the rent anymore, but he can’t risk living with another person because he doesn’t quite know what happens to himself when he enters a world.

He supposes that he’s struggling within the fictional worlds too, just in another way entirely. Usually in fiction, he’s struggling to grasp onto understanding. Back at home, he’s struggling to keep himself alive. Would Soonyoung even spare a look at 2017 Wonwoo? He doubts it, and 2018 Wonwoo won’t be any better.

 _Oh_ . The realization comes belatedly. The changing of the year is happening soon. If he could glance at his watch, then he’d be able to know just exactly how long, but he doesn’t want to risk Soonyoung noticing how different the time is from his present. That’s another question that Wonwoo has: What would happen if a fictional character found out about reality? Would they be able to explain it away? The only proof of it is the watch that Wonwoo wears, but still… Could _everyone_ just dismiss it as a broken, unwound clock? Sometimes fictional characters were brilliantly analytical. Once, Wonwoo’s whole personality had been, accurately, evaluated by a bartender in an alleyway stop. Characters could figure out the impossible with only a small amount of information.

Barely above their heads, a string of fireworks goes off. It draws Wonwoo’s attention back to Soonyoung. His mind has been working overtime in this world, leaving him unable to fully enjoy it. Questions spring to the forefront of his mind and cause him to forget that he’s supposed to be having fun. The fireworks primarily just shoot out random sparks that fly hazardously in every which way. Most of the partygoers look up at them in awe, but Wonwoo knows the bright colors of the present and so he’s not impressed by them here. Soonyoung doesn’t seem to be either, but in the dim lighting, he can only sort of make out his expression from his peripheral.

Another flash happens and a woman screams: out of excitement or fear, Wonwoo can’t tell. It happens just behind Soonyoung, in the sky, and Wonwoo can see him now. Soonyoung is staring up at him, interest playing in the pout of his lips. It is a look so daringly open it makes Wonwoo feel exposed; it makes him feel dizzy. “Do you want to find out?” Soonyoung’s voice sounds unsteady, but his face reveals no underlying anxiety. Wonwoo studies his features and wonders how he could possibly exist in this world. _Why_ in this world? He wishes that he could steal him back to the present, but if, as a child, he hadn’t be able to sneak his friends out of storybooks, then why would be able to now? Would Soonyoung even want to go with him?

Without waiting for an answer, Soonyoung moves in closer. There are alarms going off in Wonwoo’s head, warning him to stop this before he ends up hurt, but he doesn’t want to stop Soonyoung. He never wants to stop Soonyoung. His lips brush against his skin, just missing his mouth. Someone bumps into Wonwoo and it startles the both of them, but Soonyoung just grabs onto Wonwoo’s shoulder to steady himself. His lips move to Wonwoo’s ear and he finds himself shivering underneath his touch again.

His next words make him lose his whole bearing of the world.   
The world does turn a little too fast and suddenly he’s back on his blue-sheeted mattress.

His hands rush to find the page that he had been on, but there’s no mention of Soonyoung anywhere. He doesn’t exist to this world: not even as a side character. Goosebumps decorate his forearms and suddenly, even though he’s remembered to pay the electricity bill this month, his apartment is freezing. His whole body starts to shiver violently, limbs twitching uncontrollably. There’s something in his body searching for a way out. Fear, maybe, or even hope, but regardless of what has bewitched his entire being, Soonyoung’s voice still rings in his ears. It sounds too real; The memory is too lucid. He can hear fireworks crackling outside his thin walls and they are probably staining the sky with their brilliance. _Happy New Year._

 

He’s not alone, but there’s no way to find Soonyoung. What are the odds that both of them had chosen the same world to visit on New Year’s Eve? To Wonwoo, it seems unlikely and impossible. Their meeting has happened against all the odds stacked against them. Soonyoung’s haunting words only bring more questions to the forefront of his mind. Are there even _more_ people like them? Does Soonyoung know any of these people? How did Soonyoung recognize Wonwoo as his kind? Is there a way to decipher whether a fictional character is a just a character or someone belonging to reality? How close is Soonyoung, in the world? Is he in New York, traveling from South Korea to try to find inspiration in the change of scenery? Or is he back home? Could they find each other here? Would it be worth it to try? The questions plague his mind and do nothing to quell his anxious excitement.

 _There is Soonyoung!_ He wants to scream it to the world. _I’m not alone!_ His body doesn’t really feel like he possesses it. Instead, it is a culmination of all the stories he’s ever experienced. He’s floating on endless possibilities as he climbs off of his bed to throw open his bedroom window. The wintry air rushes in and jeopardizes the little warmth that his apartment holds within its insulation-less walls. Each of his hands find the sill and he leans over it to see the specks of light from the nearby apartments. More fireworks crack across the sky. They are blue and white this time, no red. Still, it is probably patriotic, but Wonwoo thinks they look like a beautiful tragedy waiting to happen. Maybe his heart is still stuck in 1922.

The framework of his body shakes unsteadily. “I’m not alone!” His yell is carried by the wind. It travels down the streets of New York City and eventually fades away until it is just wind as well. For a moment, Wonwoo feels courageous and desperate, but utterly destructive. His hands want to bleed words onto pages; His mind wants to communicate an entire world of infinities and possibilities. It is laughable that when he feels full of opportunity, he reaches for paper. His hands actually itch with craving as though he’s an addict. This time, his hands find a book and clumsily, he begins the new year in a whole other planet, far away from this one.

 

Here, Soonyoung and Wonwoo do not meet. If they did, then Soonyoung would be the moon because Wonwoo always finds himself looking towards it. In this world, he hardly recognizes himself. He is the least human he’s ever been before. His entire body shimmers, like moonlight, brilliantly silver. There’s no compulsion in his body. For the very first time in his life, he feels entirely calm. No one calls him by a name in this world and no one has expectations for him either. All he has to do is tell the truth and influence peace between the hosts and his brethren: alien entities of the same luminosity as him. It turns out to be quite boring, but also exhilarating because his senses have all shifted to accommodate his new form. His eyes no longer truly see, but they catch flickers of light here and there. There are no ears on his form, but he can still hear. The experience is odd, but sound travels through his thin skin and echoes throughout his tiny body. No food can enter his body because he has no mouth; therefore, he cannot taste and he cannot talk, but his body is at ease. The planet nurtures him with nutrients to sustain his lifeforce. He doesn’t need anything else. All he’s reduced down to is feeling. That sense is amplified so much so that he can feel the life swirling inside of the bodies around him: that he can feel the planet’s love surround him.

This world teaches him patience and living are but the same.

 

In an attempt to find Soonyoung, Wonwoo scours a list of the bestsellers. Not only does he take inventory of the newer ones, but he takes as many as he can find from the dusty old library he’s managed to locate just outside of the city. New York City gives him shaky palms and heavy lungs, so he travels just outside of it to experience America fully. His groceries even come from just outside the city because he can’t bear to shop within it.

When he thinks it over, he realizes that he has the highest probability of finding Soonyoung in a bestselling novel. There are millions of books around the world in various languages. For Soonyoung, he can narrow it down to books only in Korean and English. Korean reprints might be his best bet, but he’s in America, so English is readily available to him. At this point, he’ll take what he can get. For all he knows, Soonyoung could be just across the city. There’s very little that Wonwoo knows about Soonyoung, but there are educated predictions he can make. It is a better plan than taking blind guesses about what Soonyoung might like to read, or just picking up whatever book is most available to him. If he wants to find Soonyoung again, then he’s going to have to be smart about this. So, he starts with popular young adult novels. Maybe he can find Soonyoung there, in one of those worlds.

 

_Dear friend,_

_I am writing to you because she said you listen…_

His letters always start out the same way. “Dear friend,” as though there aren’t degrees of separation between them. Wonwoo never receives a name or a return address. All he ever knows about this “friend” is their troubles and adventures. It feels like he is a makeshift therapist rather than a friend. Even so, there’s something magnetic about the narrative that makes Wonwoo’s hands itch in desperation. If he can help, then he wants to. He can’t write back, but he still does. All of his letters are unaddressed completely. “To you” isn’t indicative of anyone. Instead, it seems like he’s writing to anyone. It is the same with the letters that he receives. If he hadn’t received them, then he would think they are just generally addressed to the public too.

 _To you_ ,

    I wish you could receive these letters, to know you aren’t alone, but I will not disrespect your wishes. Privacy is precious… I know that better than anyone, but being private can also be incredibly lonely. Does calling me friend make you feel less lonely? You hardly know anything about me, but I can change that. Or… at least, I can try.

    My full name is Jeon Wonwoo. While I’m visiting America, I go by Monday. People think it is bizarre, but I think they’ve heard worse. I put too much thought into the name, even though it is such a common word in English. I wanted something that had importance because I didn’t have any of that for myself. Claiming a name with the power of time and signifying the moon was a power play over myself. I wanted to fill a gaping hole. Let me tell you a secret… Changing your name doesn’t fix all the pain that you are feeling. It did, however, make me feel like a new person. It gave me extra strength. Long story short though, no one calls me Monday except my landlord.

We met on a Monday.

Well, technically, we met on the changing of Sunday into Monday. Isn’t that funny? I chose my name way before we met, but still… It seems so complicated. I don’t really believe in fate, but now that I’m stuck living this life… I have come to realize that my beliefs can be challenged. Many different worlds have taught me many different lessons that I try to use throughout my life. I can’t always, but if I can, then I put those new beliefs to use to better myself and my life. I’ve got dust in my veins, but it isn’t a bad thing. Actually, it is the best thing. I am the king of literature. If I’m cut, I’ll bleed allegories. Doesn’t that sound mystical? I’m a bit of a magician, except I’m the single worst magician in the world because the only act I know is of the disappearing kind.

I almost wish I was normal. You made me stop wishing that. Do you wish you were normal? Maybe you’ve realized how to balance this lifestyle with reality, but I can’t do that. I would probably be envious of you. I don’t have any friends, unless they are fictional. You write to me about your friends, but they are merely fictional too. You are trapped as the protagonist here… Do you like that role? I prefer being a minor character. If I’m a minor character, then I can drown myself in the world and emerge changed afterwards. I think I’m addicted to book jumping. Is that apparent? Is that dangerous?

What do you like to do? I write in my free time. Maybe one day you will travel to a world that I’ve created. I think that’s the most powerful thing a person can be: an author. None of them know, but they are all creating impossible, new worlds. They are the best magicians in the world because they have the power of creation. I want to be powerful and do the seemingly impossible. Soonyoung, I want to meet you again.

Let’s try this again. I’m going home next month: Changwon.

                                  Your friend, Wonwoo.

 

The bestsellers list runs Wonwoo dry. It takes him almost three months to sift through all the titles on the list. He knows better than to let finding Soonyoung become an obsession, but his loneliness eats away at him. Instead of a person, he feels like an empty body. All of his interactions are piloted by his subconscious, but it hasn’t found a home within him. Instead he’s always across the room or next door or in another country, or even, another world. Until a person knows what it is like to feel like a hollow shell, they’ve never really been alive. Or that’s what Wonwoo comes to believe about life. He’s never felt more hopeful, but at the same time… he’s never felt much of anything at all. It’s confusing: painful and stressful. If anything, his new philosophies only push his family further away from him. Even Seulgi begins to question her brother’s state of mind. Honestly? He questions it too.

After the bestsellers, there is nothing for him. He knows better than to keep digging when he no longer has a shovel, but that doesn’t mean he can’t go find another tool to finish the job. If the fictional worlds aren’t giving him the right answers, then he’ll use reality to assist him. Finding Kwon Soonyoung shouldn’t be impossible. Actually, it could end up being way too easy… The Internet could work wonders when it needed to do so.

Right now? Wonwoo might need a miracle.

He starts with social media because it seems to be the simplest starting place. If Soonyoung ends up being as elusive as Wonwoo, then he might never find him this way, but he’d rather try and fail then let Soonyoung slip away from him completely. It seems like he is just chasing a dream, but for Wonwoo, this is his reality. He’s stuck in the thin veil between fiction and reality. There’s no choice for him. Not unless he wants to give up an essential part of his life. Reality, for Wonwoo, can be so tiring, but the fictional worlds are endless and depthless. Wonwoo can be successful and happy; in these worlds, Wonwoo can be _anyone_. He’s limitless. Is Soonyoung like this too?

 

“You won’t tell me why I’m scouring the Internet for a trace of this boy?” Seulgi’s help had been enlisted after she had peered over his shoulder in an attempt to spy on him. She isn’t anymore useful than Wonwoo himself is, but at least there are two pairs of eyes looking over everything now.

Instead of answering her, Wonwoo hums. With his tongue _just_ peeking out of the corner of his mouth, he’s focused on reading the screen before him. Seulgi’s presence is almost an afterthought. Almost. He could never forget about her entirely. Even though she doesn’t understand him, they are still close. Where their parents had gotten upset at Wonwoo for his “wild imagination,” Seulgi had _tried_ to understand what her brother would rant about. Her logical ways of explaining away Wonwoo’s reality had been gentle and comforting. He wishes that he could share his world with her because she’d recognize the beauty and magic in it. Above all else, Seulgi tries to understand.

Right now, she’s trying to understand. “Is he at least cute? Did you meet him in America?” There’s no impatience in her tone. Wonwoo thinks that she’s a saint, even though he knows that her anger can be as dangerous as an erupting volcano. With him, she bites her tongue just so she can try to decipher what is running through his head first. “You know I’ll only be happy for you if you found someone.” Her eyes are sympathetic. It doesn’t immediately hit Wonwoo that it should be _odd_ that he’s considering himself interested in a boy. Societal norms… They really get him sometimes. With all the worlds he occupies, sometimes he forgets what reality accepts.

Finally, he reacts to her. In his seat, he straightens until he’s sitting at his full height. “I…” A sigh falls from his lips. For some reason, it is hard to talk about Soonyoung with Seulgi. It is as though he’s a forbidden topic… Wonwoo doesn’t know how to proceed, so he swipes his fingers through his hair as he struggles for words. Seulgi’s gaze is expectant and eager for engagement. Guilt swells in his stomach. Seulgi deserves so much better than him. “We met in America,” he confirms. It seems like the safest admittance. “We spent New Year’s together.”

“Oh!” Seulgi’s eyes light up like the fireworks that night. Gatsby’s world would envelope her with its fine fabrics and liveliness. Daisy would be envious of her beauty. _She_ would make men fall in love with her at a mere glance. The hidden power of that world would be willingly possessed by Seulgi, Wonwoo’s sure. She’s that talented: the world bends for her. “Did you go to Time’s Square? Did you watch the Ball drop?” Stuff she’s only seen on television. Seulgi hasn’t left the pigeonhole of South Korea. Here is where she has a family. Maybe one day she’d get to travel, but for now, she has to wait. Patience. She has acres of it stretched across her mind.

Little white lies are Wonwoo’s speciality, so he nods. “Yeah. He was right there next to me. We watched fireworks together.” _Little_ white lies. The bigger ones bury him underneath pounds and pounds of  guilt. “I know it is silly to look him up, but I think he’s from here originally. We weren’t on the same flight, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t come back here.” He moves away from Facebook and onto Twitter. There’s no mention of him, but thousands of mentions of _Soonyoung_ or _Sooyoung_ , just none of them are his Soonyoung.

Seulgi seems to go quiet, but then she perks up. “Hey, I think I found something?” She has a news page pulled up and her brow is pulled tight in confusion. Wonwoo goes to sit next to her, resisting the urge to peel the laptop from her hands. “It says here that _Kwon Soonyoung_ of Namyangju was in a train accident that resulted in the death of twelve? He survived, but went into a comatose state.” Her lips pull down, then purse themselves to the side as she thinks. Wonwoo watches her in an attempt to control his own expression.

Her silence lasts too long. Wonwoo wants to break it, but he doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t even know if she still believes his story about meeting Soonyoung now that she’s read this story. _Comatose?_ Wonwoo’s hands itch to find his copy of _Gatsby_ . Would he still be there? Is he stuck in the world of _Gatsby_ forevermore? There are questions that Wonwoo needs to find answers for, but he can’t with Seulgi here. He has to stay composed until she goes back home to her family and forgets all about Kwon Soonyoung, the boy in a coma.

“You must’ve met him days after he woke up…” She suddenly says, scrolling down the page. “There’s no follow-up story, so that could be the case… and no obituary showed up, so you aren’t meeting with ghosts.” A laugh follows her rationalization of the situation that she already misunderstands. “That’s that though. Maybe you can find his family’s number. I’ll leave this up for you because there’s a donation page linked here.” Seulgi closes the laptop and pushes it across the table before standing up. Carefully, she fixes her clothing, smoothing it out, and Wonwoo wants to start pushing her out through the door. He knows better though, plus… without her, he might not have been able to find this information out about Soonyoung. He’s usually hopeless with the Internet.

Testing the water, Wonwoo closes his own laptop. “Are you leaving now?” He hopes that she doesn’t read a nonexistent longing in his voice. No part of him wants her to stay, but he’s trying not to seem desperate to find Soonyoung. If Seulgi catches onto that desperation, she might stay and attempt to help.

She hesitates, combing her fingers through her hair, but then she nods. “I think so, if that’s okay. Taewon hasn’t seen me all day and I miss him.” There’s fondness in her expression that is so open that Wonwoo almost feels it. It is an emotion that he could never write appropriately because he’s never experienced anything like it. “He misses his Uncle Nonu too.” Just as quickly as the fondness appears, it disappears. A look of bittersweetness replaces it. “You really should stop by now that you are back home. Dinner, maybe? It isn’t a secret that you can’t cook to save your life, so I don’t know how you’ve been alive for this long.” She laughs, reaching out a hand to place against the side of Wonwoo’s face lovingly. Wonwoo leans into it, closing his eyes.

“Yeah, someday soon.” He promises, even though he knows that his heart will not settle until he finds out the truth about Soonyoung. “Tell him I’m still working on his book.” That’s the plan, anyway. By the time his book is finished, Taewon will be able to read it. He’ll be able to see the dedication to him and know exactly what it means. Except Wonwoo knows that no one will ever truly understand the gift of a story until they are allowed to experience it like he has.

Her touch only lingers a moment longer before she’s crossing the room to pull her coat on. “I will,” she says after she has one arm in its sleeve. She’s committed to leaving now. “Take care. I’ll come by to visit soon, if I can.”

Wonwoo nods, because he knows that she will always make time for him. Even if he doesn’t do the same for her. Then, he watches her as she leaves, locking the door behind her.

 

As soon as she’s gone, Wonwoo is in motion. His copy of _Gatsby_ should be sitting at the bottom of his travel bag alongside everything else he had taken to America. Usually, he resold or donated the books that he was finished with, but _Gatsby_ had memories that Wonwoo couldn’t let go of. Even if he promised himself he’d never visit the world again, he still wanted to keep it near him. Now though, he’s going against a very delicate belief of his. The magic of a world shouldn’t be used up, but Wonwoo is going to risk it. A childlike wonder keeps children tales alive for years and years, but the weariness of being an adult just eats away at it until there’s nothing left but words.

Wonwoo doesn’t want to ruin the magic of any of the worlds that he’s visited, especially not the magic of this one. But he’s more concerned with his own story now. If Soonyoung did exist in both reality and in the fictional world, then that meant that he’s exactly like Wonwoo. Somehow, though, he is stuck in this fictional world where Wonwoo is free to come and go as he pleases. It’s no wonder why Wonwoo wasn’t able to find him in any other book… Soonyoung could only exist in one story. _Was it the accident?_ Wonwoo figures that it probably was. _Is there a way to reverse it?_ To that, Wonwoo has no answer. The formation of a hypothesis leaves him stumped. He hardly understands his power himself, so how is he supposed to help someone else? For all he knows, Soonyoung knows more than him about these worlds, about this power.

His fingers clumsily skate through the pages until he’s opening to somewhere in the middle. Playing by the rules would mean he’d start from the beginning again, but he’s got no time to waste. Plus, he’d rather skip his own backstory, especially since he knows it by heart. In this world, he is the same as Soonyoung. Both traveled from South Korea to America looking for new money and hope. While no new money was to be found, they both could find solace in the form of drunken elation. The magic of Gatsby’s parties called to their characters and waxed poetic justice into their bodies until they were just another syllable in the scheme of things.

He wants to start at where he first met Soonyoung.

 

“Hey,” he’s at the gates to the Gatsby mansion, fingers curled around masonwork. “You figured it out?”

Wonwoo can only stare at him, perplexed, but entirely grateful to see him again. “Yeah.” His mouth is dry. There’s something about Soonyoung that his brain has a hard time figuring out. It doesn’t accept that they are strangers meeting for the second time. Maybe it has something to do with their shared power. “How long have you been here?” It takes effort to make sure that his voice doesn’t waver. He shouldn’t be so nervous around Soonyoung, but he doesn’t know what else to be. It’s hard to interact with someone who he can be completely honest with.

A shrug follows his question. “I don’t know. I think… maybe a couple of months. I try to keep track of time, but sometimes days get blurred. My watch battery ran out about a month ago.” He laughs bitterly, showing Wonwoo his cuff where there is an unmoving watch. “Now I just estimate.”

Wonwoo hums, unable to find proper words. _It must be horrible_ , he wants to say. Nothing will bring any peace of mind to Soonyoung though, so he just stays quiet.

“Welcome back,” Soonyoung breaks the silence. “I was wondering if you’d come back for me or not.” Pairing his words is a smile brighter than the sun itself and Wonwoo finds his own lips pulling up. Even at the brink of despair, Soonyoung is able to smile magnetically. Wonwoo is envious of his unending happiness. After months of being trapped within the same story, Soonyoung hadn’t whittled away, instead he seemed to grow stronger. Wonwoo couldn’t understand that. Couldn’t understand _him_. If Wonwoo was in his shoes, then he’d be miserable, lonely, and too tired to be hopeful and smile through all the pain. Soonyoung has to be incredibly resilient.

“I didn’t know what to think when I never ran into you again…” His admittance comes quietly. Telling Soonyoung that he spent time looking for him makes him feel embarrassed, his cheeks grow fiery hot until he feels feverish. “I read so many books and you were never in any of them. Then… I read the news story.”

His eyes are the size of saucers. They have yet to enter the party, but no one pushes around them to get in. In fact, most of the partygoers are already inside those gates. Soonyoung suddenly looks confounded and lost. “News?” He tilts his head in a way that would appear cute if Wonwoo didn’t realize the gravity of the situation. _Soonyoung has no idea why he’s trapped in here. He doesn’t know what happened outside of here…_ Now, he expects Wonwoo to inform him of a hard truth. Wonwoo doesn’t like to deliver news, especially bad news, to others, but there’s no way around this one. If Wonwoo doesn’t tell him, then he’ll remain confused forever. Consciousness stuck in a story that might not even be his favorite. If Wonwoo had to be stuck in a fictional world, then he’d at least want to pick which one. Soonyoung didn’t get that option. He had been reading _Gatsby_ , so this is the world he is trapped within.

For the first time since they’ve met, Soonyoung is displaying an emotion other than happiness and mystic. He’s visibly getting upset by Wonwoo’s elongated silence, but his emotions are so much deeper than that. Wonwoo isn’t sure that he could even describe the raw hurt and despairing confusion that immediately clings to Soonyoung in a desperate attempt to find the answer to a question he’s been screaming into infinity. “Tell me,” he says, resolute. His hands ball into the fabric of Wonwoo’s shirt, but it isn’t a sign of anger.

“You… don’t remember where you were before this?” Wonwoo can’t avoid his gaze. It is imploring and threatens the destruction of this whole world. For some reason, Wonwoo’s attracted to it. Not physically or emotionally, but like there’s magnetism in the air. Like there’s magnetism clinging to their souls and forcing them to be dragged towards one another. It doesn’t have to be romantic because it is obvious that this has to do with their shared power. Their souls recognize each other as kindred, but Soonyoung’s eyes are heavy with an emotion that does not make him feel welcomed. “When you first visited this world?” His voice is small. If he knew he could rescue Soonyoung from this repeating Hell, then he could just break this news to him. But he could be stuck here forever.

“I was… I don’t know…!” Shaking his head, Soonyoung releases the hold he has on Wonwoo’s shirt. “I think I was headed home from work? That’s really the only time that I could spend visiting because I was always around people at work and at home.” There’s no realization of the accident. He doesn’t remember anything more than what he says. There’s confusion still pulling at his features until Wonwoo feels pity swirl around his mouth. Its ugliness coats his words, so he’s scared that anything he’ll say will come out too sensitive… too weak.

Someone other than him should let Soonyoung know the truth. His truth is only mingled with pity. “You were involved in a train accident. Twelve people died—”

“Did I die?” Soonyoung’s hands are fists still. Would he ever use them against another person? Wonwoo doesn’t know how to, but he wants to comfort him. His hands just usually don’t breed gentleness. He’s stained with ink and hardship… Softness is a trait given to his sister and her son. It is a trait living in Soonyoung’s smile which has disappeared for tonight. “Please… just be honest with me. I can handle it. I need to know.”

“No,” Wonwoo shakes his head. “You didn’t die… but you aren’t… You aren’t conscious.” It is hard to explain for some reason. Soonyoung has to understand why his body cannot live in reality without him, yet he’s making Wonwoo explain it to him. Maybe he just needs the confirmation. “After the crash, you ended up comatose.”

The surprise only registers momentarily before his expression hardens. “Do you want to go down to the water?” The subject changes briskly and before Wonwoo can answer, his wrist is in Soonyoung’s possession and they are headed away from the party that once embraced them.

“Why the water?” Wonwoo finds himself asking, even though it might not be appropriate.

It shouldn’t matter, but he finds himself curious for the answer. “It is quieter there.” Soonyoung almost smiles back at him, but he looks away quickly, focused on trudging forward. “Nothing here reminds me of home, so I just try to find wherever is peaceful. I usually don’t mind the parties, but I want to think for a minute…. Is that alright?”

He seems genuine, but Wonwoo is perplexed. It is selfish of him to make demands out of Soonyoung or to want explanations for things that aren’t any of his business. Curiosity should be left to be curious, but he’s given answers to the questions that he asks. The answers are polite, even if the questions could be invasive. Soonyoung’s personality has so many layers that Wonwoo finds himself trying to craft a character like him. It might be impossible, but he has to try because there’s so much depth in Soonyoung that he has to be an ocean. “It’s alright,” Wonwoo finds his voice, but it is soft once again. “I actually prefer the quiet. I can’t stand parties.”

A small chuckle breaks across the eerily silent night. Crickets chirp, but soon enough, they become background noise too. “I think _anyone_ can tell that,” Soonyoung snorts, shaking his head. “You seem like a total wallflower.”

“Maybe I am.” The fact that Soonyoung thinks it is funny that Wonwoo prefers quiet is bizarre to him. Especially when the boy is the one who brought up the desire to go somewhere quiet. “What about you? You aren’t exactly the life of the party if you are heading away from it.” It is supposed to be matter-of-fact, but it comes out lame.

“Party for two,” Soonyoung winks, but keeps tugging him along. It isn’t like Wonwoo to let himself be led around like this, but he wants to find the type of quiet solace that Soonyoung has found here. Nowhere reminds him of home, but this place still seems to calm his nerves. For some reason, Wonwoo would like to share that sense of peace with him. Maybe it is because Wonwoo thinks he needs it too.

They continue walking until they are at the edge of the land. Water laps up onto their shoes, but neither seem to notice or care. Wonwoo usually would find himself withdrawing, even from the tranquility of the ocean’s lull, but with Soonyoung beside him… Wonwoo finds himself wanting to stay. If they were characters, written into this novel, then they would be back at that party. Or, at the very least, they would be sitting down and relaxing. This reality is not theirs though, and it is no wonder why they aren’t soaking in the moment. Soonyoung seems to be thoughtful, but he doesn’t say anything. Wonwoo doesn’t know if he’s just scared to break the silence or if he’s actually turning something over in his head.

Wonwoo decides to break the silence for him. “Did you know that I… was like you?” The question is harmless, but still, there’s an anxiety singing throughout Wonwoo’s veins. It probably has everything to do with Soonyoung, but he tries to ignore that fact. “With you, I couldn’t even tell… Not definitely.”

Tilting his head to look at him, Soonyoung takes another minute to think before he answers. His eyes flit around Wonwoo’s face, trying to decipher _something_. Maybe he’s trying to remember the first time they met. Wonwoo can’t seem to get it out of his head. “I couldn’t tell definitely either, but there’s something different about you. I’ve never run into another person like us, but when I saw you… You just didn’t belong. It isn’t even that you stood out, but that you seemed… livelier. These characters have so much depth, but we have so much more. We aren’t just words on a page based off a real person. We are real people visiting a world of words and imagined thoughts.” There’s something beautiful in the way that Soonyoung talks. Honestly, it is on the cusp of philosophical and it makes Wonwoo want to ask a million more questions. There are beautiful thoughts in Soonyoung’s mind; Wonwoo wants to be able to peer into it.

“That makes sense,” he says, thinking about how, when they had met, Soonyoung had seemed too full of life. Wonwoo had thought that he should’ve been a main character because of the detail dedicated to him. It makes sense that the reality is that Soonyoung is just as real as he is. “I don’t know what it was… but there was something about you that didn’t seem generated.” It doesn’t make sense, but something deep inside of him also resonated with Soonyoung, but he’ll never admit to that.

“I tried to kiss you.” Soonyoung whispers, looking away. “I was so happy to meet someone from the real world again that… I got too excited. I’m sorry about that.”

The regret is there, out in the open. Wonwoo wishes that he’d take it back because more than anything, in that moment, Wonwoo had wanted Soonyoung to kiss him. For days, he had stressed over the fact that they had just missed their opportunity. If he were braver, then he could reassure Soonyoung that that kiss is one he wanted to have, but he’s a coward. Plus they are only strangers, so if Soonyoung regretted it, then Wonwoo needed to forget it ever happened. That would be the best option for both of them: to just ignore it. Luckily for him, Wonwoo specializes in pretending that events never happened just so everyone could cope.

Another silence overtakes them. Words are hard to exchange because the truth is out there, sitting between them awkwardly. Wonwoo doesn’t know how to reverse the damage of his words, but he also doesn’t think there is an antidote to it. Maybe no one else could understand their situation, but being trapped _anywhere_ without permission is synonymous with torture. In the end, it doesn’t matter how well a person is treated because they are still imprisoned. Not to say that there isn’t a difference between treatments, but in the end, Soonyoung is still imprisoned. This is still his own prison.

“Do you think I could get out?” Soonyoung’s voice is just a whisper.

Wonwoo wishes that he never had asked. There is no avoiding the subject, but he doesn’t have any answers for him. Wonwoo’s whole life had been struggling with a power that he didn’t know how to control. As a child, it had forced pills down his throat to control his “active imagination.” As a teenager, he had lost all his friends due to his “strange, reclusive behavior.” As an adult, he had lost his family because he hadn’t been able to hold down a job or even much of a life, especially in comparison to his sister. He had decided to chase writing and drown himself in fictional worlds where his parents’ contempt couldn’t touch him.

These worlds taught him philosophies that assisted him in publishing his first novel. He had crafted a world with his own hands and the knowledge he had gained from his own journeys. From visiting other fictional worlds, he had been able to find out what people sought out from those worlds: what emotions they regarded, what details they enjoyed, what side plots needed to be featured because they were too interesting to ignore. His first novel had been a hit across some parts of South Korea, but his hands ached to put out another world that children could visit, even if they could not _literally_ visit it like Wonwoo can.

He doesn’t know why he says what he does, but he believes his own words. “I can find out.”

Naturally, Soonyoung seems apprehensive. “Really?” Maybe it is odd, that Wonwoo cares so much, but he’s the only one that can help Soonyoung. A body can only live so long in a comatose state. Wonwoo isn’t sure how long that length of time might be and he doesn’t really want to find out. Soonyoung’s already been in here for months, so the sooner that Wonwoo acted, the better. Even if he had no clue how he could help.

Hesitance weighs on his frame, but he tries not to show it. He might be Soonyoung’s only hope at escaping. For some reason, he can’t bear to disappoint him. “Yeah. The Internet is full of information, plus I can see if there’s anyone else like us… Anyone who has run into this problem. If we exist… we can’t be the only ones.” It’s frustrating, not having the answers, but there could have been others before them who ran into a similar problem. Even if Soonyoung might be the first jumper to be stuck in a fictional world, there should still be a way to bring him back to reality. Some failproof design that saves those who can’t escape. Wonwoo just has to discover it.

“What if we are?” It’s a lonely question. Often, Wonwoo had asked himself the same thing. _What if I’m the only one?_ Now he gets to share that burden with someone. “I can’t imagine how we’ve avoided them for so long if they are out there.” This is a type of weakness that he’s never seen from another person. Seulgi, his parents, even the few friends that he’s kept company with, have always shown resistance to stress. Soonyoung seems to have reached his personal breaking point. Too much pressure has been applied to him and now he’s threatening to splinter.

Lights from a nearby house turn on. It is enough of a distraction for Soonyoung to cut off any other thoughts he might have had. Wonwoo watches silhouettes through a window while Soonyoung seems to zone out. Soon, Wonwoo will have to go back to reality and try to do the impossible. Never has he found information concerning anyone like them, but he’ll have to try again. Even if he can’t discover anything new, then he’ll have to figure out how to save Soonyoung. All he knows is that it shouldn’t be impossible. Wonwoo has visited enough worlds to know that ideally nothing is truly impossible, even if certain things seem to be that way. His whole existence should be impossible, but he has this strange gift. For Soonyoung, it has turned into a curse. There had to be a way to undo the damage that had been caused. Just… neither knew where to start in their search.

“I’ll have to leave,” Wonwoo says, finally, when the silhouette disappears somewhere deep into the house. “I’ll come back, but I’ll have to leave so I can figure all of this out.” He doesn’t know what he expects from Soonyoung, but there’s a hopeful shimmer in his eyes. No longer is he the playful boy that he had first met here, but he’s not totally unlike that boy either. He’s damaged, but repairable.

The smile that he receives is one that believes in the future. Wonwoo’s never had someone believe in him without any reservations. Even Seulgi has to check in with him just to make sure that he’s still alive. Soonyoung challenges the way that Wonwoo views himself. He makes Wonwoo feel important and needed, even though he knows this may just be temporary. Soon enough, if Wonwoo could discover how to relieve Soonyoung of this world, he could depart from his life. He could never hear from him again after he gets what he wants out of him, but for some reason… Soonyoung doesn’t seem like the type of person to leave him alone after doing something so selfless.

Soonyoung’s hands reach out, then it is his arms coiling around Wonwoo’s neck. “Thank you,” he whispers against his skin, making Wonwoo shiver. “I won’t ever be able to repay you for this.” Before Wonwoo can respond, though, Soonyoung is pulling away from him. Quickly, he pulls down on his sleeves until his fingers are covering them.

There are tears streaming down his face; wetness lingering against Wonwoo’s neck. Crying comes naturally to humans, Wonwoo shouldn’t be surprised to see tears, especially when in all of the worlds that he’s visited, he’s seen more tears than he could dream to count. But there’s something about the raw mixture of emotions of Soonyoung’s face that makes Wonwoo just stand there in awe. Kwon Soonyoung is even beautiful when he cries.

 

Even if he finds nothing out, he agrees to come back in a week to update Soonyoung. Right before he leaves Gatsby’s world in favor for the mystery of reality, he hands over his watch so that Soonyoung will be able to watch a cycle of a time he’s familiar with. _Maybe, at least, this can make you feel closer to home._ Of course, a watch wouldn’t, or well, _couldn’t,_ bring a person to feel closer to home. Still, Wonwoo hoped to put Soonyoung’s mind at ease somehow. Just the thought of leaving him alone for a whole week made Wonwoo feel regretful. The sooner he could find a solution, the better.

Back at home, the first thing he does is follow Seulgi’s previous suggestion of trying to locate Soonyoung’s family from the donation pages online. Seulgi’s kind enough to not have closed out of the article that she had pulled up about Soonyoung and the others injured on that train ride. The donation page is simple, but luckily there’s contact information for Soonyoung’s mother. Just a phone number written next to her name, but it is more than what Wonwoo could’ve hoped for from the dingy website.

Without thinking, he dials her number into his phone and waits while it rings. Calling people usually gives him an antsy type of anxiety, but that fear has taken a backseat now that Soonyoung needs him. The line rings twice more before a groggy, sleep-addled voice is picking up the line. She yawns into the receiver, “Hello?” All Wonwoo is is a strange phone call. Quickly he reloads the news article and reads through it. _What excuse do I have to be calling her?_ They’ve probably already recovered his things, only to discover that he had just been reading before the impact. Wonwoo doesn’t think he can fake it as one of the passengers, especially when they all could have a support group that Soonyoung’s mother is apart of, or something like that. Tragedies usually bred a sense of togetherness that other events could not naturally afford. Strangers enjoy coming together after a horrific accident, but families usually were torn by private, tragic accidents.

“Hello,” Wonwoo almost stammers out the greeting, but he bites down on his tongue instead. Hard enough to taste blood. If he wants to gain anything from this conversation, then he needs to keep calm. “I’m Jeon Wonwoo,” Honesty will always be the best policy in the end, except he can’t be totally honest this time around. Somewhere, his story will have to depart from reality, but luckily for him, he’s become a professional at weaving new realities. “I know I’m contacting you months after the accident, but I knew your son. It was very brief of an acquaintance, but I’ve been feeling guilty after the accident… even if I know it isn’t my fault.” The emotion in his tone isn’t quite right. He sounds too professional, but he doesn’t know how to alter it without alerting Soonyoung’s mother. Mothers just happened to have that extra intuition that would tell them when someone suspicious is approaching.

He hopes that Soonyoung’s mother can somehow sense that all he wants to do is help her son. “Excuse me?” Suddenly, she sounds more awake, but her voice isn’t all that pleasing now. Even though he doesn’t know her personally, she reminds him of his own mother. There’s a sharpness in her voice that Wonwoo can’t find exactly trustworthy. It makes lying to her a little easier. “You knew my son? You knew Soonyoung?”

“Yes,” he clears his throat, quietly and in the crook of his elbow. “We rode the same train after work. I didn’t work with him, but we sat nearby each other often. He was always so cheerful and friendly.”

Across the country, she gulps. _Is she falling for it?_ Wonwoo has to be successful at selling his story or he’ll never be able to locate Soonyoung. “So, you were in the accident too?” Here’s the first hint of skepticism. She’s not blindly believing his story any longer. _Jeon Wonwoo? He’s never been heard of around here._ He can form her inner dialogue. By now, he’s a professional even among those belonging to reality. Everyone just starts to become so predictable. Plus, there are only so many ways to put words together.

These skills that Wonwoo has been taught from living in various fictional worlds assist him in shaping himself into anyone who he wishes to be at a moment. “No, no. Actually… _That’s_ why I feel so guilty. I wasn’t involved in the accident. I could have been, but that week leading up to the accident, I had to be hospitalized because of the flu.” A laugh wouldn’t be appropriate even though the character that Wonwoo’s currently playing feels the need to laugh jovially at the irony of the world. “That flu ended up saving my life instead of ending it… But lately I’ve been thinking a lot about Soonyoung. I miss seeing him on the train… Do you think I could visit him?”

“Visit… him?” Soonyoung’s mother sounds perplexed, maybe at the whole change of events that Wonwoo’s crafted, but also maybe because someone wants to visit her son. “He’s not responding to anything. If you come, you’ll be visiting an empty husk of a person. There’s nothing in his head, the doctors said. They doubt he’ll wake up.” Now there’s a new edge to her voice. It is weak, fragile, and tired. She’s a mother about to lose her only son. She’s completely different from Wonwoo’s mother because even when she lost Wonwoo, she always had Seulgi. Maybe that was why leaving him was so easy for her. “We might be pulling the plug soon.”

His heart stutters in his chest. For all he knows, he’s having a genuine heart attack with the delivery of this news. If his parents pull the plug, then Soonyoung would be lost to the fictional world of _Gatsby_. He’d cease to exist in reality because they would kill him. His own parents would be responsible for his death. “Then please, I beg you to allow me the privilege to visit him before you do. I would hate for the last time I see him to be at a funeral.” His character dissolves to leave Jeon Wonwoo, desperate and clinging to the hope that when he visits Soonyoung, he’ll be able to have answers. For now, he’s only Jeon Wonwoo, heartbroken.

 

“They plan to kill you,” Wonwoo says, rushing to patch of land that Soonyoung is laying down in the midst of. Dew clings to the grass and makes it damp. “Your mother wants to take you off what little life support your body is on.” It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours before he left Soonyoung’s company, but he’s already back with news.

Soonyoung doesn’t even sit up. His eyes just watch the clouds travel across the sky. For the first time, this world is colored in daytime and it is every bit as extravagant as when it is enveloped in darkness. Wonwoo wishes that he could forget his troubles and just lay beside Soonyoung for a moment, but there’s no time to waste. Before ending the phone call with Soonyoung’s mother, they had exchanged information. By the end of the month, Soonyoung would be taken off of life support. Wonwoo had until then to come and visit him. _You can have his hospital information because I trust that no one can do anymore damage than what has already been done…_ She still didn’t trust him, but she did give him the information. That’s all he needed from her.

But her trust would have been nice.

It isn’t until Wonwoo is standing above him, shadowing his body that Soonyoung even shifts his gaze. “I figured that would happen soon enough. My mother isn’t very patient.” His nose scrunches up and Wonwoo fears that he’ll start to cry again at the fear of death, but he just rolls his head to the side. “So, you spoke to her?” Now his gaze is affixed to Wonwoo, interested in him. “She’s rightfully related to the devil, right?”

That’s not exactly the feeling that Wonwoo had gotten while talking to her, but he couldn’t deny that she seemed to have drops of evil running through her bloodstream, just like his own mother. “She told me I could visit you.” He says instead of agreeing with Soonyoung. “I think I will.”

At this, Soonyoung’s face screws up. “Why?” It’s anger that’s coloring him now. Wonwoo senses it a second too late. He’s unprepared for how to react to it. “All you’ll be visiting is a lifeless version of me! Just a body laying there like a corpse!” His anger isn’t exactly logical. Instead, he seems embarrassed by the prospect of Wonwoo seeing him unlike how he is now. “You’ll just be creeped out. It’ll just be weird, Wonwoo.” He crosses his arms over his chest, looking away from Wonwoo. “It won’t help me at all.”

“You don’t know that.” Wonwoo wants to reach out to him, but he knows better than to touch anger. “Maybe that’s part of all this. Maybe your body needs to be reunited with your consciousness somehow.”

“ _Duh_ ,” Soonyoung all but spits out at him. “That’s my _whole_ fucking issue. I’m stuck here while my body is out there. I hate the thought that anyone could be poking or prodding at me. I don’t want to think about my family shedding fake ass tears over my body. I’m just _laying_ there… I’m trapped here _and_ there, Wonwoo.” The earth beneath them  shifts drastically and Wonwoo feels himself falling into its core.  “I’m trapped here and there…”

 

Abruptly, he’s back in his living room. Right now, he’s a whole world away from Soonyoung and it might be for the better. His anger had gotten to him: crawled underneath his skin and threatened to rip him open. There’s too much that he doesn’t know about Soonyoung. For all he knows, he could be a real-life villain that he’s willingly helping. Wonwoo doubts that he is one, but with Soonyoung’s anger comes the realization that they know nothing about one another. Soonyoung could be a writer too, but he could also be an engineer or a scientist. Wonwoo’s never cared to ask because of the precarious situation they are in.

“So, what’s the next step?” He finds himself asking. There are no guidelines for how to react to this situation, for what to do next. Maybe Wonwoo should chronicle his journey so that no one else ever runs into the same problems as he has with Soonyoung. If Soonyoung and him both exist as travelers through fictional worlds, then there must be others like them, even if they’ve never met anyone else before. Maybe they are even going through similar issues. They could be struggling just the same and Wonwoo would never know. How does someone communicate with someone whose existence is a mystery? Books are the obvious answer, but would they pick them up and read them? Would they travel to these worlds so they can find answers for their problems? There’s no prediction that Wonwoo can make. It’s amazing that Soonyoung and him met within their lifetimes since the event seems so rare.

But Wonwoo wants to know what the next step is _for him_ . Soonyoung needs him now, not the future generations of book jumpers or the ones he doesn’t know. If they did need him now, then there is no way for him to know that and until he helps Soonyoung out, he doesn’t even have answers for their struggles. _What do you do when you find out someone is stuck in a fictional world? Their body is stuck in reality, but their consciousness is stuck elsewhere? How do you combine them to make a person again?_ Wonwoo doesn’t know where to go now because he doesn’t know _how_ to fix the problem. Combining body and mind is the obvious step, but he cannot just force Soonyoung to be of sound mind and body. Something has to change so that he can occupy his body and stay alive.

Suddenly, he has a plan. It may not be a solid one, but it is an attempt towards fixing all of this. He picks his copy of Gatsby off of the couch and heads for his coat. It’s time for Wonwoo to meet Soonyoung.

 

“Kwon Soonyoung?” The nurse asks for clarification, clacking her fingernails against her keyboard. “His room is straight through those doors, on the left. Three fifty-one. If you need anything, click the _call_ button and we will send someone down to assist you.” She doesn’t look up throughout her instructions. Wonwoo could be holding a knife and she would let him into the room without alerting anyone of the danger he posed. Of course, he’s only here to help, so there’s no need for her to worry, but she seems so absorbed in her own world. _Too_ absorbed. “While the facility is open twenty-four hours, we ask that you leave before midnight. When leaving, you do not have to worry about checking out at the desk. Thank you.” It’s all scripted. Wonwoo nods, gives his thanks, then heads towards where Soonyoung is promised to be held.

The door opens too easily. There’s no dramatics behind this. It isn’t a novel or a movie. Reality is in play and Wonwoo is meeting Soonyoung for the first time. After the door swings on its hinges, all that is left is for Wonwoo to pass through. He holds his breath as he does so, then is greeted by the steady beeping of a machine that’s just one of many hooked up to Soonyoung’s body. _Just a husk… a shell…_ Soonyoung’s mother was foolish to give up on her son, even if she couldn’t possibly know the gravity of his situation. Wonwoo couldn’t believe her for allowing them to end his life because she had no faith in the world. Soonyoung’s whole life rested in his hands. It’s weird, but he doesn’t feel so burdened by that anymore. At least, not when he’s standing before him.

“Hey,” it feels silly to talk to him, but Wonwoo doesn’t know what else to do. His hands are trembling, but he doesn’t release the hold on his book. “I brought something for you. I thought you might like to see it again.” Bringing him the book… What would it do? The idea isn’t nonsensical, but Wonwoo hasn’t fully thought it out yet. If he can show Soonyoung that there’s no mention of him, then maybe he could return to his body. Or… if he visited the world while in the presence of Soonyoung’s body, they could both leave since their bodies were waiting in reality for them. Not perfect ideas, but they could work. They are worth the try, Wonwoo thinks.

There is a chair in the room and Wonwoo moves it until it is next to Soonyoung’s bed. The beeping continues without interruption. It is like there has been absolutely no change in the room. On the corner of his windowsill sit sunflowers that remind Wonwoo of him. The person who had purchased them probably had thought the same thing. Even when he dims, there’s just something so bright about Soonyoung. He’s like the sun and the moon eclipsed. “I wanted to show you a couple passages in here. You don’t mind that, right? You had such a problem with me visiting you when we talked about it. I know that I should have respected you, but I want to get you out of there. And I know you want out of there.” He flips through the pages absentmindedly, not paying any real attention to where his fingers land. It doesn’t matter where he starts from because there isn’t a trace of Soonyoung anywhere in the book.

Nothing in the room changes. Wonwoo finally picks at page to start out and holds it out to Soonyoung before reading it. “See? There’s no mention of you in here. You aren’t in this book, Soonyoung. You don’t belong to that world.” There’s desperation coloring his tone, making him seem wild. _How to make Soonyoung see that he belongs here?_ That’s not a Google search he can input. All he can do is hope that one of his wild ideas will breed success.

Constancy remains in the beeping of the machine and the breaths that Soonyoung takes even though he doesn’t need them. His mind is a blank slate. Wonwoo wonders what it must look like for Soonyoung’s body since he isn’t dead, but he isn’t quite living either. Right now, he’s in the in between and seeking a way out. Wonwoo promised him that he’d look for that tunnel, but no matter how many pages he flips to or how many passages he reads, Soonyoung does not stir. _How can I make this right?_ Wonwoo isn’t meant to be the hero. It goes against certain traits of his. Yet Soonyoung has asked him to take the position of the hero and rescue him from the impossible. Can Wonwoo make it possible? How can he know if he doesn’t even try?

The first effort fails, so he decides to try the second.

 

“Back?” Soonyoung’s holding a glass of champagne, but the contents haven’t been touched. “I didn’t mean to be such an asshole earlier.” As soon as he’s said it, he looks down at his watch to confirm. It’s only the next morning. Wonwoo spent the night sleeping and traveling until he was at Soonyoung’s bedside. Should he tell him where he’s at? Does Soonyoung already know? “I know you are only trying to help me… Can we take a walk?”

There are gardens that Gatsby owns, so they head towards the sprigs of flowers and leaves. Funny, how Soonyoung doesn’t even need to wait for confirmation because he knows that Wonwoo will follow. “I’m at your hospital, in your room.” Wonwoo knows better than to lie to him, even if he wants nothing more than to do so. There’ll be less of a chance for anger to appear if he ignores the truth of the present events, but Soonyoung deserves an update. It is his life at stake here.

Visibly, Soonyoung blanches, but doesn’t say anything. It gives Wonwoo enough confidence to continue. “I thought that… if I read you a couple passages from this book that you would come back to yourself. Maybe it was a stupid plan, but I figured it was the only one I had. Then… I had another idea. What if we tried to leave the world together this time? Your body is next to mine right now. If this is about proximity, then we should be able to get you out of here easily. All your consciousness has to be is close to your body.” His ramblings aren’t dangerous, at least. None of his ideas involve either Soonyoung or him getting hurt, but there’s still hesitancy in the way Soonyoung glances at him. Could they pull an attempt like this off?

“You think that’ll work?” From his response, Wonwoo can’t tell if Soonyoung’s skeptical or not. No matter what, he has to be willing to try because this might be the only way. “I’ve never had an easy time leaving worlds. Yesterday… you just left, but I could never do that so abruptly.” This admittance comes softly. This is a topic that Soonyoung feels sorely about, but Wonwoo doesn’t know why. It could be that he’s jealous of Wonwoo’s control over his ability, but he doesn’t think it is right for him to ask.

So, he just nods. Clearly, he’s paying attention, but he’s not giving out a response because he doesn’t want to be on the receiving end of his anger yet again. It isn’t right of him to treat Soonyoung like a timebomb, but there’s not much more stress that he can take. Soonyoung’s expectations might not be huge, but he’s in charge of saving a life. It isn’t a burden on his shoulders, but it is a lot of responsibility. Not everyone is required to _save_ a life. Soonyoung’s expiry date is printed on a piece of paper and ingrained in Wonwoo’s mind. Now, all he can do is try to stop it.

They stop at pink carnations and Soonyoung brushes his fingertips against their petals. “I have a learning disability, I guess. I don’t read well, but when I discovered my power… I couldn’t just let it go to waste.” There’s a softness about Soonyoung now. He’s being gentle with his words, gentle with his hands. When he turns his gaze, shyly, to Wonwoo, his eyes are gentle. Wonwoo doesn’t know how someone can be composed of so much emotion. In Soonyoung’s presence, Wonwoo feels two-dimensional: flat and colorless. “Maybe it is because of my brain I’m stuck here now. If I could have left like you can, then I might have left before the train ran off the tracks. Then I wouldn’t be stuck here.” This is something he’s ashamed of, but he won’t phrase it like that.

Instead, he’s just talking around it, waiting for Wonwoo to react. “Or maybe not.” He ends up saying. “You can’t know for sure.” Wonwoo watches Soonyoung trace the outline of the flower with his pointer finger before he withdraws from it. “You can’t blame yourself for this situation you are in.”

That seems to be the correct answer for Soonyoung because he grins at Wonwoo, then they are both headed away from the carnations. “So, you want to try then? I don’t know if it’ll work… especially if we have to leave at the same time, but I want to try.” After the softness comes courage. It burns slowly, but brightly. There’s not a moment when Wonwoo isn’t amazed by Soonyoung’s depth.

“Then we will try,” Wonwoo nods resolutely. Bravely, he takes Soonyoung’s hand in his own. Ever since meeting Soonyoung, he hasn’t felt alone in the world anymore. Soonyoung makes Wonwoo feel strong in a way that he’s never been able to feel before. Actually, everything he feels in Soonyoung’s presence is new and strange. Suddenly, he has courage and strength. Suddenly, he’s the hero.

Right before Wonwoo tries to leave, Soonyoung’s grip on his hand tightens. “Thank you, Jeon Wonwoo.”

 

The beeping welcomes him back to reality. In the bed beside him, Soonyoung doesn’t stir. _Have they failed?_ “Soonyoung?” He finds himself feeling erratic. All he wants is to be able to see Soonyoung’s hazel eyes open to look up at him. His world would end up righting itself if he did that, but he breathes much the same as he had before. There’s no change in this hospital room. The only change is the flood of disappoint that threatens to collapse Wonwoo from the inside out. “Soonyoung…?”

“It’s about midnight,” the nurse says from the doorway. “I’m making my rounds, so I’ll have to check up on him right now.” There’s no meanness in her voice or appearance, but he gets the feeling that she’s not asking him to leave. Quickly, and quietly, he leaves Soonyoung in the nurse’s care.

 

“It didn’t work!” Surprisingly, it is Soonyoung’s voice delivering the news. Wonwoo stops in the middle of the road, clearly aware of the danger. Soonyoung’s anger is carrying him over to Wonwoo. It is the force that takes hold of Wonwoo and drags him into a nearby house. “I don’t want to be stuck in here forever! I don’t _deserve_ to be stuck here forever! Day after day is party, then tragedy, on repeat and repeat and repeat! It’s so tiring. Daisy packs, then she leaves. Gatsby always dies. I can’t change these events, but I can watch them indefinitely. I can be one of the partygoers that don’t visit his body because I’m selfish. All… All I want to do is be back in my own life with my own things… writing my _own_ story. Having my _own_ life. Don’t you understand? Isn’t our life so tiring?”

The hurricane of emotions take Wonwoo by surprise even though he should realize, by now, that Soonyoung is capable of this and so much more. Maybe, this time, it has something to do with his words. Never has Wonwoo stopped to think of their life as tiring. In fact, his whole life revolves around his power to travel to other worlds. Without his power, there would be little point to his life. His whole existence is to learn and grow as a person and writer from visiting a multitude of worlds. There’s nothing tiring about his life, even though it could be emotionally draining at times. Soonyoung seemed to abhor his power. Maybe it was only because it resulted in this situation becoming his reality. Tragedy could turn dreams into nightmares. Gatsby knew that better than anyone.

“Is it?” Wonwoo’s mouth feels dry. The last thing he wants to do is fight with Soonyoung, but there’s only pure anger running through his veins right now. He’s a sight to behold. Anger propels him and other emotions spill out of him. There are tears staining his cheeks that are marked red with heat. There is a ringing in Wonwoo’s ears and he has the slightest feeling of fainting. No longer does he feel like he’s part of this storyline. He’s going to be sick.

Suddenly, he’s back to the first day they met and he’s giving himself over to Soonyoung once again.

“ _Is it?_ ” mocks Soonyoung, only it doesn’t feel like he’s mocking _him_ . This life seems to have made a mockery of him and now that he’s been exhausted, it all just feels like a running joke. “You don’t know? You’ve never had that feeling that you could just be _normal_ if you never discovered this power? I had a life, Wonwoo. Months ago, I had a life. I had friends and family and a job. I put books down because I realized how much happier I was living in reality. The first time I pick up a book again, my life gets turned upside down and now I’m _trapped_ here. I never asked to be able to do this, to have this opportunity. Wonwoo, don’t you ever just want everything to be so real it hurts? I’m tired of living in fiction.” He sounds tired, but Wonwoo doesn’t point out the obvious.

Words stop coming easily to Wonwoo. There’s nothing scripted about this dialogue. To an audience of one, Soonyoung is pouring his heart out. All of his emotions come tumbling off his lips and freefall into Wonwoo’s head until they threaten to overtake him too. These are pure, raw feelings that Wonwoo has never experienced this way before. “It isn’t supposed to be a bad thing,” he’ll always defend this lifestyle, even if he sees the pain and distress it is causing Soonyoung. Even if he’s watching him unravel before his eyes, he still will believe in their powers. It’s a remarkable existence. They can’t prove it to others, but they can experience. To Wonwoo, it is like being an astronaut and discovering life on other planets. Fictional worlds are endless and hold a treasure trove of lives.

The house is more of a mansion than a house, but Wonwoo knows that it doesn’t belong to Soonyoung. Nothing in this world belongs to him. Maybe he’s chosen it because he knows that it is unoccupied, or maybe he’s chosen it because he knows that the owner won’t be back until a given time. Now that he has a working clock again, he’s more easily moving around this world. Reality thrums through him still and it keeps him tethered. “No, it isn’t, but it can go array. Everything can go to shit, just like in the real world. Have you ever wondered what would happen if you died in a fictional world? Would you die in real life or would you just wake up like nothing ever happened? You are too scared to try, right? That’s the grip that reality has on you. You don’t want to soak yourself up into these worlds because there’s nothing they can give back to you. They are just stories that loop. Live through one long enough and you’ll want to drive your head through a wall.” He’s pacing the floor of the living room. If Wonwoo looks up, then there’s a balcony from where people on the second floor can look out. The owners clearly don’t host parties because this would make the perfect ballroom. Ideally. Wonwoo wouldn’t mind living here.

“I want to go back home and see my parents. I have a little brother, Wonwoo. He’s only _five_ . If I’m here another month, then I’ll miss his birthday. Actually, if I’m here another month, then _I’ll be dead out there_ . I’ll never be able to hold him again. I’ll never be able to have children of my own or get married or lose my virginity. I’ll just be stuck here _forever_. It’ll become my own personal version of Hell. I will be Sisyphus and this world will be my rock.” The tears are still coming, but he’s no longer minding his appearance. Snot clings to his nose and bubbles. Wonwoo doesn’t offer him a tissue because he doesn’t have one. If he did, then he still thinks he’d be frozen to this spot.

“Soonyoung,” he interrupts him from continuing his rant. There’s something important tugging at his innermost parts. A confession, of sorts. Wonwoo doesn’t know if it is appropriate to say, but he’s resting in the palm of Soonyoung’s hands now. When he looks at him, Soonyoung realizes something too. Wonwoo can see it in his eyes. “I’m going to get you out of here even if it kills me.”

“Why?” Soonyoung croaks, but they both know he doesn’t want the answer.

A laugh abruptly pops from Wonwoo’s lips. Even thinking about replying makes him nervous. “I think I’m going to end up falling in love with you.” It’s foolish, silly, and totally unlike Wonwoo to say something like that, but it is the truth. The one thing he refuses to keep from Soonyoung is that.

Laughter falls from Soonyoung now. He doesn’t seem to believe Wonwoo which makes his heart ache. “But will you love me here or out there too?” Absentmindedly, he wipes at his nose with the sleeve of his shirt. The conversation has taken such a sharp turn that even Soonyoung’s tears are surprised. No more of them fall while Wonwoo makes his confession.

“In any world.” Just a whisper: the truth.

 

Soonyoung’s mother isn’t happy to see him on her doorstep. “There was a book he had been reading.” In lieu of a greeting, he pushes past her. “Do you have that still?” It’s a wild idea, but when Wonwoo had sat down to think about it on his ride home, he had realized that it could work. Book jumpers never showed up in any of the works they visited, but they still had copies that they used to transport themselves there. Wonwoo couldn’t read something over someone’s shoulder because the book, his entry point into the fictional world, would end up separated from him in reality. Soonyoung’s consciousness had been separated from his body during the accident; therefore, if the two were reunited, it would be the same logic as visiting the world while in the presence of Soonyoung’s body.

The missing piece of the puzzle had always been that Soonyoung’s consciousness belonged to his own copy.

“I think so,” she says, feeling like a stranger in her own house. Wonwoo is commanding as he walks around, trying to find Soonyoung’s room. _Did he even live with his parents? Did they even keep his room if he did?_ “I put his things in boxes. All he had on him was that book and his wallet.” Even though she doesn’t know why he needs it, she starts to move towards a door. The first time that Wonwoo had spoken to her, he had misinterpreted her. Nothing about Soonyoung’s mother resembled his own. “Give me a minute,” she says, then buries herself in the closet.

It shifts the power back to her. This is her house and he’s just a visitor trying to save her son. “Hey!” says a voice from down the hallway. Small eyes are watching the scene with interest and regarding Wonwoo curiously. “I’m Channie! Nice ta meetcha!” When he smiles, Wonwoo notices that one of his teeth are missing. _This_ is the brother that Soonyoung must have been talking about. There’s not much of a resemblance to Soonyoung in his features, but his smile is just as bright. Soonyoung’s mother is the same way too. Wonwoo would hate to see their father.

“Hi, I’m Wonwoo. It’s my pleasure.” For show, he bows to Chan and Chan squeals in delight. “How old are you, Channie?”

“Five!” He holds out a hand, fingers fanned out excitedly. “Isn’t that so old!?”

From inside the closet, his mother laughs goodnaturedly. “He’s quite the charmer, Wonwoo, watch out.” At the compliment that he might not even understand, Chan puffs up like he’s some kind of exotic bird. Their family dynamic is interesting and adorable, but Wonwoo’s only here for one thing. Once he saved Soonyoung, then he could come and get to know about Chan. Until then, he had to stay focused on the task at hand.

Genuinely, Wonwoo chuckles, then accepts the copy of Gatsby that is offered to him. Surprisingly, the book looks unscathed. There’s no sign that points to it ever being in a train accident. Not even the cover is tore. “Soonyoung hated reading. I could never get him to do his assignments for class, but right before the accident he got into it again. He read a whole bunch of books… I told him to try a few American classics... “

“You can’t blame yourself. That accident didn’t happen because he was reading Gatsby.” For some reason, his words don’t come out as comforting as he wishes them to be. If Soonyoung’s mother picks up on that, she doesn’t say because she just smiles at him. “I’m going to go read it to him. I thought maybe it could get him back to his senses.” The explanation comes automatically. It isn’t much of a lie, but it isn’t exactly the truth. Soonyoung’s mother doesn’t look like she minds the idea.

From next to them, Chan cries out. “I know how to read!” And he’s stealing their attention away again.

 

The feeling of finishing a book lingers with a person for some time after they put the book away. Sometimes it leaves behind positive emotions, but other times it draws tears from places deep inside a person. There had been several books that Wonwoo had finished and afterwards, he felt totally empty. It had been like the world had ceased to matter because what he had just read challenged his perception of it, or of his life. The Great Gatsby doesn’t leave Wonwoo with much emotion. There’s a sadness about the tragedy that makes him feel a certain longing, but other than that, he doesn’t feel much. When Soonyoung finishes it though, he feels his heartbeat kick up again.

When his eyes meet Wonwoo’s for the first time, they are filled with tears.


End file.
